People put off calling an attorney for a reason that has nothing to do with money or time. They think they are supposed to show up with everything decided.
That is backward. A first meeting is not a test. Most firms send a short questionnaire for estate planning beforehand, and the meeting itself is a conversation built around the same nine questions. Knowing them ahead of time takes most of the dread out of the call.
What You Own and Where It Goes
1. What do you own, and whose name is on it? Not exact dollar figures. What matters is the house, the accounts, the land, the business, and how each is titled. New Mexico is a community property state, so how a married couple holds property changes what happens to it. The way your assets are titled often matters more than what your will says.
2. Who should receive it? Sometimes this is obvious. Sometimes it is not, especially with stepchildren, a second marriage, or an adult child you worry about. There is no wrong answer here, only ones that need to be written down clearly.
3. And who receives it if that person is gone first? This is the question people have not thought about. Plans fall apart when the backup was never named, and the law ends up deciding instead of you.
Who You Trust to Act
4. Who would raise your children? If you have children under 18, naming a guardian is the whole reason many parents finally sit down. Name a second choice too, and tell both people before you name them. Planning with young children is its own conversation, and a short one.
5. Who settles your estate? In New Mexico this person is called the personal representative, often called an executor elsewhere. They gather what you owned, pay what is owed, and distribute the rest. It is a job, not an honor, and it should go to someone organized. Naming a personal representative is one of the more consequential choices you will make.
6. Who handles your money if you cannot? A power of attorney lets someone pay your bills and manage your accounts if you are unable to. Without one, reaching those accounts can mean going to court. This one matters long before death does.
7. Who makes your medical decisions? Same idea, different decisions. You name someone to speak with your doctors if you cannot speak for yourself.
The Questions People Do Not See Coming
8. What should happen if you are seriously ill and not going to recover? This is the hardest one to say out loud, and the one your children will be most grateful you answered. Putting your wishes in writing means nobody has to guess in a hospital hallway in Las Cruces at two in the morning.
9. Is anything worrying you? This is the open door, and it is where the real work often starts. A child with a disability who cannot inherit outright without losing benefits. A son whose marriage is shaky. A daughter who should not receive a lump sum at 22. A dog nobody has agreed to take. Whatever has been sitting in the back of your mind belongs in this answer.
Key Takeaways
- You do not need every answer. A first meeting is a conversation, and “I am not sure yet” is a normal response.
- How things are titled matters. Ownership on paper can override what a will says, particularly for married couples in New Mexico.
- Backups are the weak spot. Most plans that fail did not name a second choice.
- Half the questions are about living, not dying. Powers of attorney and medical decisions apply while you are still here.
- Tell the people you name. Nobody should find out about the role by being handed it.
The First Conversation Is the Easy Part
These nine questions are the whole of it. No paperwork you have to produce, no decisions you have to arrive with, and no test to pass. At E-Law PC, Michele Ungvarsky walks people through them in plain language and sorts out what each answer means as you go, so the thinking happens in the room instead of ahead of it.
If you have been circling this for a while, a short conversation is a reasonable place to start. Request a discovery call to learn more.
References: National Law Review (Feb. 23, 2021) “Preparing for an Estate Planning Consultation: 10 Items to Consider Before Meeting Your Attorney”